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Saturday 20 June 2009

INTERVIEW WITH HON. GODFREY GAYA

INTERVIEW WITH HONOURABLE GODFREY, GAYA .


Honourable Godfrey Gaya is a member of the House of Representatives representing Jaba/Zango Kataf Federal Constituency of Kaduna State. In this interview with our Correspondent, AARON OSSAI, he spoke on the ten years of the legislature and ten years of uninterrupted democracy among other burning issues. Excerpts



QUESTION: How do you rate the Legislature in these ten years of our democracy?



ANS; the legislature has done marvelously well. At a time there was no government except the legislature. That is the truth. Nigerians were always waiting to hear the outcome of the decisions, resolutions and investigations of the parliament. From 2007 till date the parliament has done very well. I went into the archives and discovered that we have passed for third reading over 100 bills in the last two years. That means debates successfully conducted on the second level and passed to the third. Those that have been concluded and passed through third reading are up to 50. The United Kingdom Parliament decided on 450 bills in fours years and only five succeeded in going through the third reading. So if you compare that with our own situation in Nigeria , we will have every course to beat our chest eulogizing ourselves for doing a very wonderful job. Of course you know that it is not every bill that we pass that the executive will assent to. But the most important thing is that Nigerians are aware of our thrust and thinking and our direction or purpose. So whether the executive passes it or not, the truth is that Nigerians would have been informed of the thinking of the legislature as regards their well being. So in that wise, we have done exceeding well. That is outside our over sight functions, that is outside our appropriation, if you add all these, may be you will score us 100 per cent or 99.1 per cent.



QUESTION; Sir , Nigeria has just celebrated 10 years of democracy. What is your assessment of the journey so far?



ANS. Well, I will say so far so good. And again we give glory to God for allowing us to have gone through ten years of undiluted democracy. You see, if we talk about democracy in Nigeria , the temptation is to compare us with other countries with advanced democracy like the United States or the United Kingdom . And to some of those countries for over 200 years they had veritable democracy and for us to have spend just ten years and we are already enjoying those dividends that come about with democracy, I will say Nigeria has done so well. So for ten years, now Nigerians are conversant with what democracy is all about. Nigerian will normally prefer it to the most liberal kind of military dictatorship, so for me, I think we have done well and we should do everything to protect and to nurture this democracy so that by the time we attain the golden age of 50 years in our quest for democracy, we would have enough reason to celebrate and we will have enough reason to prove to our electorates that democracy remains the best form of government where every body is a participant, where everybody is an actor, where your basic rights are protected, where everybody is a stakeholder, so I think for ten years of democracy, Nigerians have every reason to thank God for ten years of uninterrupted democracy.



QUESTION: Nigerians have not been able to get the required dividends of democracy due to poor implementation of annual budgets, as a federal legislator, what is the way out?



ANS: Well, the House of Representatives being the Peoples parliament passed a resolution recently seeking to address the poor implementation of annual budget in the past nine years. You will agree with me that by December last year, we were able to implement our capital budget to the tune of only 30 per cent and you know also that the capital budget is the aspect of the budget that affect an average Nigerian, you and me. We are talking about capital budget on liked roads, housing and anything that links A and B and provides for A and C. Last year it was very disappointing that we got only 30 per cent of the huge allocation to capital project implemented. So this year when we saw that it was already May and the same scenario was going to repeat itself, we decided to call with a loud voice that the executive arm of government must wake up to implement the capital budget so that an average Nigerian on the street will be touched by the expenditure of the government. So the parliament is in it and we are up on our toes we are also mandating our committees who have oversight functions on the Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) to be up their responsibilities by ensuring that every kobo that is budgeted for the capital projects is spent before December 2009. So the committees anytime from now will go out to the ministries to see what has been earmarked, what is to be done and whether it has been done or not so that an average Nigerian who has no access to salary or to any other thing in the recurrent will feel he is part of the government. You will agree with me that it is when the capital project is really in action that a who may be is a gravel seller can supply to the road construction company a Nigerian who is a brick seller can supply block to the Housing construction company and like that and like that the economy trickles down, so the parliament is not happy with the slow pace of capital project implementation and would use our oversight functions to insist and to ensure that before the end of the year, our capital budget expenditure goes up to between 95 to 100 percent.



QUESTION; Sir, the President is accusing the legislature of sabotaging the budget implementation by the way they always tamper with the figures he presented to them which in turns makes it difficult for the executive to implement. How do you react to that?



ANS: Yes, we are a young democracy. But in every other democracy in the world, when the budget comes to the floor of the parliament, it is assumed dead on arrival, dead because whatever proposal the executive has, it is subject to inputs from the parliament. And you know the parliament is the only arm of government that is closer to the people. Everybody there represents a constituency. It is you that know what your constituency needs and not the executive that are appointees. So when the budget comes to the floor of the House, it is expected to be dead on arrival so that every member of the parliament will have an input to it to address the need and the peculiarities of his constituency. So it is expected that the parliament must have an input, it expected that the parliament will add what is needed in the budget, it is expected that the parliament will remove what is not needed in the budget because we know the needs of our people so at the end of the day what we will pass back Mr. President is what the Nigerians whom we are representing actually needed. So if Mr. President now tells you we tamper with the budget that is not what it should be because any budget that comes on the floor of the parliament is dead on arrival it he did not need the parliament, he would not have brought it to the floor and of course if he did not want to implement what we suggested, he should not have signed it. Now he has signed it and it has become a law and it must be implemented to the later.



QUESTION; Since Nigeria rejoined the comity of democratic nations in 1999, the major problem has been the electoral system. INEC has not been able to conduct a free, fair and acceptable elections, what do you think is the way out?



ANS: We welcome first and foremost, the electoral review panel set up by Mr. President because we all know that it was the inadequacies of our previous practices in electoral system that warranted Mr. President to form the Uwais panel and every Nigerian including you expected that the electoral reform report could a basis for Nigeria’s further elections to be so conducted in a way that everybody would be proud of our elections. We have several examples from the US , from Ghana from India from South Africa of elections where everybody is allowed to vote and the outcome of the voting is reflected in who becomes the winner. So if we do not learn from these other countries, I do not know when we shall learn. It was out of patriotism that everybody supported the Uwais Panel. Now, the recommendations of the Uwais Panel is coming to us in view of bills from the executive and of course you see what happened at the Senate and the same thing that happened in the Senate will definitely happen in the House of Representatives. We are representing our people and we can never pass any bill that does not conform with our yearnings and aspirations so when the bills come, we will look at it in two ways- does it conform to the report of the Uwais Panel? Does it conform to the provisions of our constitution, does it conform to the electoral Act of 2006, if the answer is no, then we can never be party to it.



QUESTION; Another pestilence in the nation’s ten years of democracy is the 1999 constitution. The National Assembly attempted to amend it but it seems there is a stalemate. What is happening?



ANS: No, there is no stalemate. There is no where in the constitution that says the review must be jointly done. So it simply means that both chambers can go there independent ways, review the constitution and harmonize where there are grey areas. Already the House of Representatives has started their own last week and we are going on and I am sure the senate is doing the same thing. At the appropriate time when we need to harmonize, we harmonize, we have done so when it is time for Appropriation Bill debate, we never sate together to debate but at the end we pass the same figure. So I do not see why Nigerians should become apprehensive if we are not sitting together. We can seat separate and harmonize latter and end result will be the same thing. So Nigerians should be rest assured that the parliament is very serious and should not allow anything to derail that need to review our constitution. We know that there critical areas that must be reviewed so that we can have the desired progress and the desired advancement politically.



QUESTION; One other issue in the constitution that is attracting attention is state creation. As a federal lawmaker, do you think there is the need to create more states in the country?



ANS: Certainly, the way it is now, if we must respect the constitution of 1999, we can not have states created now because the procedure is so cumbersome and almost impossible. So the amendment will make it more pleasurable, so that it give the states or the people that are agitating some leeway to actualize their dream. Of course, one hundred per cent I believe that Nigerian should be more than 36 states for one reason there are some areas that for reasons of practical development should have a state so that there would be a fare sharing of the natural resources so that it can go equitably and can go down to the grass roots. I support creation because I know state creation is for development, It is for equity, balancing and fairness. So taken the four factors together, I will one hundred per cent as a parliamentarian support that there is the need to create more states out of the present 36 states. But of course, it must be in such a way that they meet all the criteria that are going to be set in the review or in the amendment of the constitution.



QUESTION: Past and present regimes have been making concerted efforts to eradicate corrupt practices in the system. What to you is the level of success or otherwise of this fight?



ANS: Yes, we are in the era of due process, era of respect to the rule of law, and the era of fight against corruptions in all its ramifications. Of course the parliament were the first to cleans itself of corruption and that was why as a parliament to remove our Speaker when we felt her dealings were not in conformity with the thrust of the government. So if we have gone that far to cleanse ourselves of corrupt practices, then you can believe us and support us to fight outside against anything that would appear or look like corruption. So the parliament especially the House of Representatives is in the vanguard of fighting anything that looks like corruption.

End

Thursday 28 May 2009

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Friday 22 May 2009

women's infidelity - by michelle langley

Women's relationships today follow

a very predictable pattern:

  • They push men for commitment

  • They get what they want

  • They lose interest in sex

  • They become attracted to someone else

  • They start cheating

  • They become angry and resentful

  • They begin telling their partners that they need time apart

  • They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.

If you're a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.

If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.

Women's relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females particularly in regard to their sexuality. In fact, after researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.

The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men. However, none were successful in their attempt. All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle. I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem. Although, I'm certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it's impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.

My story:

Shortly after my 27th birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.

Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.

The "stages" that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships

Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.

Stage 1

Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.

Stage 2

Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.

Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.

Stage 3

Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love.

These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.

Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.

The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”

Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.

Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.

Stage 4

The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship.

The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.


Sunday 17 May 2009

private apartments

there are people who are still very optimistic and straight forward in meeting strangers.

though strangers are sometimes very hard to trust especially when you are to receive them as guests into the comfort of your family home.

to buttress the point, some people regretted ever taking in strangers into their homes, but never the less, i have also met others who actually told me that due to their familiarity in the way they normally relate with strangers, their entire family is always looking forward to meet new people.

whichever side of the coin you find yourself, it is always a welcome idea to express your experience so that others can as well benefit from such encounter.

having such experience to relate? feel free to post it here and let others benefit.

thinking of your trip to africa this summer? write to ask for specific requests from other bloggers.